This week, Florida Man presents a crossover installment of sorts. In celebration of the proposed 12-team European Super League, which rocked the soccer world when it was announced this week, Rivals.com’s Rob Cassidy has imagined a college basketball version of the juggernaut conference, complete with a list of the 12 founding members.
The official Florida Man stance is that soccer’s super league would be a disgusting money grab that pleases absolutely nobody but billionaire owners. But, hey, whatever doesn’t kill you, gives you content. So here we are. Keep in mind, this is not a list of the 12 most successful college basketball programs of all time. In keeping with the true spirit of the super league, we’re trying to make money with no regard for history, fans or anything that doesn’t involve a dollar sign and a bunch of zeros.
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MORE: Gonzaga gets Chet Holmgren | Jaylen Blake chooses Duke
2021 Rankings: Rivals150 | Team | Position
2022 Rankings: Rivals150 | Team | Position
2023 Rankings: Top 30
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KENTUCKY
You can’t call anything a “super league” without the Wildcats. A college hoops colossus, Kentucky has eight national titles, 52 conference championships and 17 Final Four appearances to its name.
John Calipari’s team is coming off a disaster of a season but the allure and mystique of the program remains and is unlikely to ever fade away. Few move the needle more from a ratings standpoint. UK is our Real Madrid.
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LOUISVILLE
Everyone thinks they’re Kentucky’s rival, but nobody seems to get under the skin of Wildcat fans like Louisville. The fact that the Cardinals have 21 conference titles and nine Final Fours is actually an afterthought to this selection.
The Cardinals are here to feud with UK. Gimme all of that sweet, sweet Bluegrass State rivalry cash.
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UCLA
A must-have, UCLA was absolutely dominant under a legendary head coach years ago and cooled off for a while before showing some signs of life again recently.
The brand still means something, though. The Bruins are this league’s answer to Manchester United ... right down to the iconic arena.
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KANSAS
Another no-brainer, the Jayhawks are more dominant than anyone when it comes to conference play. Their 62 conference titles are reason enough to think of them as a blueblood. Like PSG, Kansas destroys its league most years but doesn’t have the history of success as other bluebloods on the big stage.
Unlike PSG, KU doesn’t have the option to decline its invitation to the super league, because this exercise isn’t real. Welcome to the conference, Baby Jay.
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TEXAS
$$$$$. Don’t like it? Too bad. The thing about money grabs is that they're all about money.
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FLORIDA STATE
Florida State likes to call itself a “new blood.” And while the program doesn’t have the recent big-stage success that Manchester City boasts, the comparison works because both are relatively new arrivals to the big boy table.
The college basketball super league needs a North Florida representative because somebody has to be around to mine the fertile recruiting grounds of Atlanta and Central Florida.
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UCONN
Speaking of money, here’s our New York market. The school with four national titles, a dedicated fan base and a campus that sits less than 150 miles outside NYC seems to make sense for such a thing. I’d personally rather have St John's or even Syracuse, but there’s no room for nostalgia in a scheme to make piles of dough.
The terms of the invitation dictate that UConn must switch to Ennui Husky as the full-time logo.
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NORTH CAROLINA
There’s not a great soccer comparison for the Tar Heels. They’re the team with the cool Jordan Brand uniforms (PSG), part of the sport’s biggest rivalry (Real Madrid-Barcelona) and come with a book full of history (Liverpool).
UNC is synonymous with the sport itself and brings a truly national fan base. This was one of the easiest selections.
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DUKE
The league doesn’t work without both members of the sport’s biggest rivalry. Plus, what would we do without commentators romanticizing this feud to the point of making unaffiliated viewers gag?
Plus, people absolutely love to hate Duke.
We here at the College Hoops Super League realize what the wrestling industry has long known: Villains move the needle, and people buy tickets to boo.
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GONZAGA
This pick is based on recency bias. It’s also a bet on the future of Mark Few’s program. Sure, Gonzaga hasn’t won many trophies of substance, but neither has Tottenham and it managed to get invited.
Every league needs a plucky upstart … or something. That said, the Zags now attract big-name players. Big-name players need a big-name league.
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MICHIGAN
A massive school that moves the needle, The Wolverines were awesome to the point of transcendence in the 90s and then sorta fell off.
There was a scandal or two mixed in there for a bit, but now they’re back. Add in the iconic uniforms, and we have our AC Milan.
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MICHIGAN STATE
It’s not really a TV market we need, but whatever. Truth be told, I just don‘t want to get berated on Twitter for leaving the Spartans out.
If Michigan comes, so does Michigan State. That’s just how it is. I’m into money, yeah, but I’m also into self preservation. Also, the school's 10 Final Fours will look good on the flyer. MSU will also be forced to bring these uniforms.
